Iphone Photo Of Saturn

I know, this isn’t my normal sarcastic web comic BS. Sorry folks.  Come back in a few days and i’ll make it up to you. I actually took this photo some time ago using my Iphone 4(5? idk) and a cheap telescope. I had to build a custom mounting apparatus ( Duct Tape ) to mount the phone to the eye piece on the telescope. The results were amazing to me then and still are today. Might be taking more space photos in the near future. Stay tuned… Hope you enjoy the fuzzy view.

Where have I been?

A lot has been happening in my life lately, all good things fortunately, but my time is being directed into other areas as of two weeks ago. Thus my hobbies, much like school art programs, are the first thing slashed from the agenda. Don’t count me out though. I have been jotting down plenty of new ideas. All I’m needing is the time to turn somthing like this…

Even I can’t read my writing.
…into a “comic” that is hopefully meaningful or funny. Hopefully this will quell any fears all two of my readers may have. 

Office Tour

Sometimes when i’m not busy being a narcissistic stick figure, I have to go to a job. Here are some images from my life at that place.

A TARDIS USB hub. Mostly used for confusing my co workers.

I don’t know what this says about my personality, but there is a spoon and a fork in my pen cup…
You thought I was a fat boy for having a spoon and fork handy? Surprise! Apples and grapefruits… This proves nothing…

The mighty label maker. The best way to waste time while looking busy.
Selected reading for those long lunch breaks I never take.
Origami crane I made to show off yet another useless skill.
Notes from my Daughter.
I found this flag in a long forgotten box in our shops attic. I cleaned it and gave it a second life in our warehouse.#Merica!
Training display I use while giving instruction and refresher training classes. It is as boring as it looks.
Airborne.
Desk clutter

This was fun. We should do this more often. 

Dummy Holes

step-dad0001
The Foreman – 2006

The Story.

My first real job was working as a laborhand on a natural gas installation crew. My foreman was a short redheaded man known as “Shorty”. Shorty was so short that he had to look up at me as he told me what to do. Though this was somewhat comical to me, he always had the last laugh. Often it felt as if he were singling me out more than other guys on the crew. My only job was to grab a shovel, dig a hole, and find the buried pipe. Shorty points and I dig. That’s how it worked.

Sometimes he would make me dig, what I would later call “dummy holes”. These are holes that have nothing for you to find. There is no pipe in these holes. There is no real reason to dig at all. The foreman would use dummy holes as punishment for guys who didn’t want to do their job. If you tried to protest they just pretend they had picked the wrong spot by mistake. Of course, this was only after you spent a couple of hours digging and sweating. I didn’t like this job and I didn’t like Shorty. To be fair I hadn’t liked this man for a very long time, since I was about eight years old to be precise.

Shorty was not only my boss, he had been my stepfather since I was eight years old. We didn’t get along very well as I made my way through adolescence. At home it didn’t matter if we got along, I could just be a little bitch and leave the house. At work it was different. He was the Boss at work. You were going to show up on time and do your job… or you were going to dig dummy holes all day until you got fired or you quit.

…I was fired.

 

I hated him even more after he fired me. How could he fire his own stepson? I was so delusional that I decided I could figure this whole “life” thing out on my own. I set off searching for my dream job. No one was going to dictate my life.  One month later I was still jobless and broke. Shorty offered me my job back… I accepted.

The truth is Shorty was a great stepfather. He did his best even if I couldn’t see it growing up. He could have easily given up on me but he never did. He rehired me but he never showed me favoritism. He made me do the hard work that was required to build my career in the industry I work in today. Though I proudly say that I have went well beyond those early days, I know where I started and I know who was there when I began.

Shorty is one of the biggest people in my life… even if I still have to get stuff off of the top shelf for him.

shorty-at-night
“Shorty” 2016- Night Time Emergency Call

Technical Difficulties 

So… due to some unforeseen technical difficulties ( I forgot to pay my internet bill because I went to Miami instead.# Adulting) I am still without my computer and am forced to use my phone for blogging purposes. Allow me to apologize in advance for all of the typos yu are about to red… see what i meat? Yeah, this tiny keyboard is murder but here we go.

Of course you know by now about Carrie Fisher (spoilers) passing away. I planned to post a small peice of tribute art tonight in her honor but technology has fought me at every turn… so the tribute post will unfortunately have to wait.

As far as my problems tonight go, I assumed that It would be simple enough to snap a picture and post it with my phone. Eww, it looked terrible. I refuse to do it. 

After that failed I put on my thinking cap. I inserted a micro sd chip into my printer and scanned the picture to the card, then returned it all to my phone. I attempted to upload the image and… nothing happened. Tried again, nothing still. 

Just so happens that my phone decided to loose all connection to the cellular network. Payment comes out automatically so I know my broke-ness isn’t to blame. The only reasonable conclusion I can think of is that an undetected asteroid has crashed through our satellite system knocking the cell nefwork off line and these are my last words ever…

To the alien archeologist of the future examining this ancient cellular device, please read my final words… I have no idea how those videos and pictures got on my phone, I never watch that kind of stuff…

Guess were still here. Only one thing left to do now. Gotta “borrow” my neighbors wifi for a moment and post this nonsense… and maybe catch one of those movies. 

Going Home

Today my Miami adventure ends and I return to my normal day to day adventures in art, poetry, and stick figure kung-fu. I’m ready. This trip has been great, but I miss my desk and my quiet little corner of the world… plus trying to post from my phone is terrible.

I did carry my notebook with me the whole time so hopefully I jotted down some ideas in there that are worth going over this week. Expect some beach themes in my upcoming comics.

—————
Thoughts on the road…

Interstate 95N

I’ve been thinking alot lately about this little blog of mine. Why am I doing this? Why create all of this? Who is this for? I really don’t have a real answer for most of the questions I ask. I just feel like I need to express myself creatively and this happens to be the best avenue to accomplish that goal.

I am, in reality, a very introverted person so this is kinda my way to get around some of my introvert ways. I still get to participate in the grand human experience of sharing information without really dealing with the “human” part.

I don’t really have a solid plan for what direction I’m taking this thing, my only rule is to make one decent post a day, Monday -Friday. Once I have burned through all of my older art work I may loosen up on that timeframe, but for now it works. I have stacks of notebooks and art I want to share. Not really because I think it is necessarily great. I mostly just want to try and preserve a digital idea of my personality. The person I want to be at least, not the guy who goes to work everyday and hates the whole fucking world.

Well. That’s my rant for today, I’m still on the road posting this from my phone so I’m sure I’ll read it at my computer tomorrow and wonder just what the hell am I talking about just like you probably are right now. If you read all of this, sorry for wasting your time, I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.

I Saved A Baby.

No really, I did. My one year old niece locked herself in her parents car today. No idea how but she did. Being the way I am, I go and grab a couple of metal clothing hangers, my multitool, and I get to work building my car lock pick (I’ve done this many times, don’t ask). 

While I’m busy building my lock pick, mom is freaking out and calls the Police, Fire department, EMS, U.S. Army, Navy Seals, Delta Force, President Obama, everyone!  So just as I’m getting started on the lock half of the city shows up. The Fire Department starts working on the passenger side trying to break in since I am already on the driver door. Their big idea? Wedge the door wish an arm collar, like the one the doctor (Not Doctor Who) uses. So they shove that into the door and start pumping.  By the time they were done I already had the window down and was unlocking the car. I was a damn hero!

What happened next? The fire fighters and the EMS guys all shook hands with each other, congratulating each other on a job well done, and they left. Only one person acknowledged me afterwards, the cop who first arrived on the scene. To that Cop, thank you. To the fire fighters and EMS… at least you showed up quick. Thanks for nothing though you ass hats. My child would have been of more use to me today in that situation than seven fully trained, grown men, and she is missing a chromosome. I wish I could read the report they turn in today…

Anyway, that really all happened then we went to ride Airboats and watch a man wrestle an alligator. Yay!  

Coopertown Airboat Rides
HELL NO
The Florida Everglades.

So yeah, that was my day. I didn’t get any pictures of myself saving a baby because I was busy saving the baby… you know how it goes.