I was twenty years old, give or take a year, when I drew this picture. It was back in the 2007-2008 time frame. I was a freshly minted father who was freshly unemployed due to the housing market crash of 2007. All I had was a G.E.D (General Education Diploma), no marketable skills, and no idea what I was supposed to do. After loosing my apartment, my car, and my unemployment income, I did the only thing I knew how to do in order to cope with stress at the time. I began to draw.
I sat down one night and let my hands do the work. I still don’t remember drawing this, but I remember the feeling of being incredibly angry and depressed all at once. The unnamed feeling we all go through when life introduces us our new limits of expectation. I was trying to sum up my life at that point in one image, one drawing. I wanted to express all the pain and damage I was feeling. It worked, for me at least. I look at this image and it still sends a shiver down my spine.
Those times were tough and terrifying, but I dealt with it as best as I could. Through my art and my writing… I was able to get everything out in the open so I could think clearly, and make a plan. Having the ability to cope in this way was quite possibly the thing that changed my life around. I went through my emotions and worked things out with myself so that I could accept everything that had happened and begin working on the next step in my life. That next step happened to be enlisting in the U.S. Army.
I thought life was hard before joining the Military, and it was in its own special ways, but the Army was a whole different beast entirely. Luckily I still had my way of dealing with it.
…isn’t always about making a pretty picture.
Sometimes you just need the art to display a certain emotion or feeling. Something it is a feeling you maybe can’t put into words. It won’t always make sense to others but it doesn’t always have to. The image above may seem exceptionally violent, and it is. But there is more to see here. That image is a representation of my life in the Army killing my old idea of how to live. Basically I am shooting myself in some sort of convoluted grandfather-paradox nightmare, if you will. The military toughened me up for sure, made me more resilient to life and all of its woes. Though life is better these days, I do occasionally come across bits of stress that need to be sorted out and filed away, thus….
….I was created. A sarcastic web cartoon character with horrible hair, a crooked mustache, and killer abs. Thanks for reading, sorry for the anti-climatic ending.
Hello WordPress community. I have returned, please hold your applause. Let me start off with an apology for being a terrible blogger, or whatever I’m supposed to be called when I post here. I know I have not posted in some time. To be honest, I know exactly when I stopped posting. It was right around the time Donald Trump was being inaugurated as President of the United States. (I can’t help but feel that there is an alternate timeline taking place somewhere and we all somehow ended up in the shitty one.)
I fell into a funk after that event to be perfectly honest with you. I grew extremely sad and distant. It’s not that I love Hillary Clinton, I just couldn’t believe that such a large population of the country I love, the country I served, could fall for a man like Donald Trump. My heart still aches to this day not only for my own children who now have to grow up in whatever kind of lasting mess this mans administration is creating, but for all the people in this country who are generally good, hardworking, honest Americans (or soon to be Americans) that want nothing to do with the ideas this man represents, but are still stained by the image of this man and his administration. I now live in a world where I check the news not to see what is going on, but to find out what new terrible thing did Donald Trump have a hand in today?
For months I have avoided social media, including WordPress, and focused exclusively on my real personnel life. I may not have any control over national matters but I still have some control over my own surroundings. I moved my family to a new, more welcoming city and purchased what I would consider my dream home. I’ve been taking on new interest and reinvesting time in old hobbies like painting, writing and reading, something that I was sorely missing in my life. I’ve reconnected with some family and friends, and made some new friends long the way. All of this has helped me remember that the simple things matter most.
I can die tomorrow and Trump will still be President (maybe). The world will still be on fire and everyone will still hate everyone else. I’m trying to look past all this noise and non-sense and find some peace in this world. I don’t want to waste to much more time worrying a lot about the things that I can’t change. I just want to be able to write and draw stupid pictures and doodles that might impact you or someone else in a way that is meaningful. So that is what I’m going to do. To hell with all the static in the world.
I plan on getting back to posting pretty regularly soon. I’m still working on building my office space in the new home so it may take a bit more time, but soon. I hope to branch out into new territory such as video games, or movies. I have really taken a keen interest in the video game blogging community here and would like to take a shot blogging about my own virtual adventures.